Hindi Jokes Sms Biography
Source (Google.com.pk)
Pati aur patni ghumne gaye. Raaste me ek gadhe ko ghaas kata
dekh patni ne pati se kaha – Oo G tumhara rishtedaar ghaas
kha raha hai, namaste karo.
Pati – Namaste Sasur Ji
Santa ne Banta se kaha,”Sabse bada challenge kya hai?”
Banta replied – Answer sheet ko khaali chod do aur last me likh dena,
paas karke dikha.
Santa : Yaar aaj mein bus ke peeche peecha daudkar 15 rupees bacha liye.
Banta : Kya yaar, tum to bahut murkh ho, agar taxi ke peeche bhagte to 150 rupees bachta!
Sardarni : Lo light chali gayi.
Sardar : Light chali gayi hai to fan chala do.
Sardarni :Lo fir se kar di na sardaro wali baat. Agar fan chalaunga to mombatti bujh nahi jayegi!
Sardar to doctor: Jab mein sota hu to mere sapne me Live IPL Cricket match ane lagta hai.
Doctor: Koi baat nahi ye medicine sone se pehle kha lena.
Sardar: Kal se khaonga, aaj to final match hai!!!
Ek sarder ne air-hostess se kaha, “Aapki shakal meri biwi
se bahut milti hai”.
Air-hostess ne ye sunte hi zordaar thappad uske muh pe mara…
Sardar foran bola : “Aadat bhi bahut milti hai”
Ek din Santa jungle se gujar raha tha
Chudail ne use roka aur kaha : Ho ho ho Ha ha ha…Mein Chudail hu.
Sardar : Menu pata hai…kyunki teri ek behen meri biwi hai!
Ek chor Sardar jee k mobile ko lekar bhar raha tha.
Sardar hasne laga
Banta : Wo tumhare mobile ko lekar bhag raha hai aur tum hans rahe ho.
Sardar : Bhagne do, charger to mere paas hai!
Santa ek black aur ek white shocks pehenkar school aata hai.
Madam : Ghar jao aur moje badalkar aao.
Santa : Koi fayda nahi, waha bhi ek black aur ek white moja hi rakha hai.
Teacher : Santa batao ‘M’ for kya hota hai?
Santa : Sir, Mother!
Teacher : Right! Aab batao W for kya hota hai?
Santa kuch sochne lagta hai
Teacher : Santa kya soch rahe ho?
Santa : Sir, mein yeh soch raha tha ki Maa ulti kaise ho gayi?
Girl-to-Boy – Aaye bewafe tune sab kuch saaf kar diya,
mera dil jala kar rakh kar diya
Boy-to-Girl – Aye ladki, teri kurbani bekar nahi jayegi,
bhej de rakh mujhe, bartan manjne ke kaam aayegi.
Santa : Banta itni sharab na piya karo, tumhari saanso tak se badbu aati hai.
Yehi haal raha to tumhe nark bhi jagah nahi milegi.
Banta : Don’t worry Santa. Saanse to me yehi chorrkar jaunga!!!
Sardar ne makhi ke legs tod kar kaha, Ja udd ja..
Lekin Makkhi nahi udi, Sr ne kaha..
“Aab to saabit ho gaya ki agar makkhi ke legs tod di jaye
to makkhi sun nahi sakti!!!”
Son(On Phone) : Maa! aaj hum 2 se 3 ho gaye.
Mother : Sabbash Beta! Ladka hua ya ladki.
Son : Nahi maa! tumhari bahu ne dusri shaadi kar li.
Jo dete hai ladki ko tohfe,
Wo late hai unki shaadi me sofe,
.
Jo jate hai unke piche,
Wo aate hai caro ke neeche,
.
Jo kehte hai JAANU,
Wahi bante hai baacho ke MAMU!!!
Ek baar ek terrorist ne ek budhiya ke ghar me bomb rakh diya.
Log chillaye – Budhiya bomb hai, Budhiya bomb hai.
Budhiya sarmakar boli : Dhatt teri, wo to mein jawani me thi!!!
Husband : Jab mein aache clothes pehenkar bazaar jata hu to sabziwale
sabzi mehngi dete hai. Jab gande kapde pehenkar jata hu to saste.
Wife : Tum katora lekar jaya karo na, free me hi sabzi mil jayegi!
Santa to Autodriver : Gurudware Jaoge?
Driver : Haan bilkul jaunga?
Santa ne jeb se polythin nikala aur bola : Wapas aana to mere
liye langar le aana!
Ek 99 year ka aadmi Swarg ki raunak aur sunder apsarao ko dekhke bola : “Ye Baba Ramdevv ke chakkar me na pada hota to yaha 30 saal pehle aa gaya hota”.
Jeeto: Ek baat batani hai, par please mujhe maroge to nahi.
Santa: Haan bolo.
Jeeto: Mein Pregnant hu.
Santa: It’s a gud News. Ess baat par kyu tumhe maru.
Jeeto: Shadi se pahle pitaji ko bataya to bahut maar padi thi.
Santa got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave
Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.
Santa by mistake goes into a ladies toilet.
All ladies suddenly stand up
Santa : Izzat dil me ho yehi kaafi hai,
Baitho Baitho…:)
Boss: Itne kam kapray pehan k q aai ho? Aadha jism dikh raha hai.
Girl: Itni salary mein yehi aata hai!
Boss: Manager, Iss ko 3 months tak salary mat dena
Medical science proved ki
Kapre tight pehnney se Blood Circulation ruk jati hai.
But
Larkiyon ke kapre jitne tight ho,
Larko ke blood circulation utni tez hoti hai!!
Height Of Embarrasment :
Man Sitting With his Wife in the Park
Another Lady Comes to his Wife and Says:
“Paise Pehly Le lena, ye admi Baad Mai Bahut Lafra Karta Hai.
After legalizing gay’s relations in india
The question tailors are asking to male customers while stitching trousers…
“Sir, Zip aage lagau ya peeche?
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